Neanderthals and the Legend of Sasquatch

Homo neanderthalis is supposed to be stupid. But 40,000 years ago they had big and advanced brains like Homo sapiens. So why did humans win? Did they? What if the neanderthals were so much more advanced that they outsmarted humans, and we still haven’t caught on? This is kind of far fetched, but I will nonetheless try to support the idea that neanderthals are the ancestors of the modern Bigfoot.

Obviously, Bigfoots are smart. It takes skill to stay hidden for so long, and they pulled it off, with only a handful of remotely believable sightings ever recorded. With a bit of imagination, you can even say that the famous video of one looking back at the camera he didn’t know existed is a sign of intelligence, not ignorant costuming; it was smart enough to know that the camera was there, knew it had been found, and made the tape look like a prank. Maybe they are arranging “sightings” purposefully to leave clues to test how smart humans really are. If they have their own hidden society somewhere were no one ever bothers them, then they have much fewer problems than humans do, meaning they can focus on other things, such as taking the world back from humans.

Many of the physical characteristics match up too. Neanderthals were taller and bigger than humans, and had more hair. It would make sense that when neanderthals disappeared, they did not go extinct, just fled to the forests and mountains where humans couldn’t follow. Because of this, they lived in colder climates, they needed their hair, and didn’t evolve into hairless freaks like humans. They were meant for sprinting rather than long distance like humans, which explains why Bigfoots can hit 30 mph but rarely chase humans far. Neanderthals also had longer arms compared to their bodies, like Bigfoots.

Unfortunately this cannot be proven without capturing and DNA testing a Bigfoot/neanderthal. According to a somewhat extremely unreliable source, a Bigfoot was captured in Brazil in 1897, but all the researchers did was feed it bananas, which it appeared to take as an insult. It broke out promptly after, leaving no trace. No one has ever come any closer since then.

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